Around DUH World
A senior government official reportedly stated, “Our New Torture Research Unit has some wonderful new appliances we’re very anxious for her to try.”
A nuclear Civic is said to be in the works.
Postponement will ensure that all candidates will have time to leave the country before a winner is declared.
The recommendation came as a surprise, as no one realized that creationism was being taught anywhere in Europe.
Independent observers cast serious doubt on the allegations, however, saying “the average Japanese citizen knows bureaucrats never do anything at work.”
A 31-year old Japanese man went on a wild rampage—including smashing 22 computers with a club—after his gift of a few jars of jelly to the company president wasn’t properly acknowledged. Following his arrest, the worker said simply, “I wish the company president had cared a little more.”
. . . on their way to Iran.
If my contractor was shooting people I’d consider firing them, too.
Skeptical tourists demand to see that exit doors are open as well.
After authorities set bail at $100 Million, the quick-witted suspect replied, “Sure, will you take a check?”
While the findings on the nuclear question were expected, officials were surprised to learn he also lied about how often he shaves.
When the significant correlation was proven, researchers shouted..."Eureka!"
And you thought your life was in the crapper?
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Forgetting which award ceremony he was at, Gore began his acceptance speech with “I’d like to thank the Academy...”
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Passengers are given an ‘immigration kit’ containing a flashlight, wire cutters, and a letter of introduction from Mexican president Felipe Calderon.
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In related findings, Irish scientists now claim that people are programmed to love Guinness.
OPEC members are worried about increased income from record oil prices, saying there are simply not enough countries left to buy.
He said, “One is The King and the other is The King of Kings,” although he declined to specify which was which.
From the Duh!Magazine Archives, this popular headline has been in constant use since 1947.
Authorities have implemented a color-coded “Homeland Obesity Advisory System”, saying that the threat has now moved from Elevated to High.
Communist party officials are still mum on whether they intend to bring them back.
Catastrophe looms as all forty-one of the French workers who actually work have been forced to stay home.
Using advanced behavioral modification techniques, program leaders hope to persuade depressed addicts to enjoy drugs again.
North Korean officials applauded the move, saying “We’re tired of being the only Communist satellite.”
As part of their global outreach program, both organizations are adding Islamic countries to their target markets.
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