Around DUH World
Reply from the State Department..."Here’s a hint: stop building nuclear weapons.”
Demolition expert claims to be first person to legally break the house.
Explaining why members rejected the strike, a union spokesman told reporters, “It sounded too much like work”.
Said a respondent: “Well, they’re cold and standoffish at first, but that’s before you discover how truly unpleasant they are.”
Authorities praised the meticulous Japanese postal workers involved, noting that “in any other country, it would have been delivered by now.”
The plan unraveled when strict enforcement of the curfew resulted in counters being sent home as well.
Analysts from Italy’s financial community are excited about the Mafia’s fourth-quarter initial public stock offering.
The couple is expected live happily ever after—or for about three weeks, whichever comes first.
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed emergency legislation fining the fire $437 million for violating California’s air quality standards.
Castro added, “And who knows more about causing global famines than communists?”
Malaysian spiritual leader Nik Aziz has yet to comment on the rationality of Islamic followers who willingly strap on suicide vests—an act some experts feel may be more dangerous than smoking.
According to a local police chief (and this is an exact quote): “These officers think their duty hours are to be used to drink alcohol in bars, practice sports..., visit brothels or massage parlours, and entertain (intimate) relationships with residents of the neighbourhood during their patrol.” One reprimanded officer remarked, “I knew this job was too good to be true.”
And here, reproduced verbatim, are the “offensive lyrics” that have everyone in an uproar: “That one night you didn’t refuse me!/That one night I hurt you/That one night you were all tears.” Yep. Things really are different over there.
Or, basically, everyone living in Saudi Arabia.
Exact quote: “An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend’s nipples, police said Wednesday.”
A U.N. panel says out-of-control consumption of the Earth’s resources has led to climate change and sports commentator Jason Whitlock.
Insurgents were incensed when Al-Jazeera cut away from Bin Laden’s remarks to run a commercial for ‘Brush-In Color Gel for Beards’.
Russia plans to follow China’s example that it’s easier to stifle criticism than to actually govern competently.
More studies are required, but initial indications show that inhaling thick, black smoke is bad for you.
No doubt by a store clerk with an IQ of 77.
Exact quote: “Putin said such tragedies ‘happen when ostensibly attractive but empty ideas are put above fundamental values, values of human life, of rights and freedom.’”
Apparently the State Department spends too much time watching “Survivor.”
Spanish justice: “The three lead suspects convicted of murder and attempted murder each received sentences ranging from 34,000 to 43,000 years in prison, although under Spanish law the most time they can spend in jail is 40 years.”
Just in time for the holidays!
OK, Iraq isn’t Monaco, but still, isn’t this what they signed up for?
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