Around DUH World
Top suggestion so far: “At least we’re not French.”
Exact quote: “A convicted pedophile sentenced to do community service in a German kindergarten will return to court next week to face charges of abusing two children there, a regional prosecutor’s office said Thursday.”
Venezuelan and Iranian leaders reveal their Christmas wish list.
Iranian leader Mahmud Ahmadinejad said sparing this tree proves unequivocally that the Holocaust never happened.
Bad news for Iranian spectators waiting to be served popcorn and soft drinks while watching nukes being launched.
These, of course, were the lines for flights to cyclone-ravaged Bangladesh.
Exceptions were made for the Pope’s personal favorites: Josh Groban, Charlotte Church, and Megadeth.
Visitors to the Windy City may someday ride the LG El, shop on the Magnificent Miles Laboratories, and tour Old Navy Pier.
Chinese officials are secretly delighted that sex scams have diverted citizen protests away from demands for democracy.
Dubbed the “porno-prof” by Italy’s main newspapers, the teacher said she (exact quote) “never let her hobby get in the way of her teaching.”
Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani are said to be “carefully considering” the Russian president’s latest pre-election move.
Part of President Bush’s Middle East strategy is the “No Nation Left Behind” policy, which, he says, will combat “the soft bigotry of low expectations.”
In an extraordinary display of diversity, (exact quote): “The record for the world’s largest flag now belongs to an Israeli banner produced by a Filipino evangelical Christian.”
The sub is equipped with an innovative stealth technology in which the entire vessel is covered by a water-repellent burka.
Remarkably, union workers in the U.S. are told exactly the same thing.
The lawmaker also has plans for a secret, well-fortified, underground bunker to be completed prior to the film’s release date.
Unfortunately, 6,000,000 Sunnis have already joined a pact with Al-Qaeda.
Lacking a creative solution to the threat, administration officials have suggested the best deterrent is ‘Mutually Assured Disruption’.
Exact quote: “‘No tolerance: Execution,’ and ‘Kill her, kill her by firing squad.’” Gibbons’ crime? She allowed her students to name a teddy bear “Muhammad.”
Maria Carolina’s contribution of “27 hours of love” raised $4000 for Chile’s largest charity. Exact quote: “One of my clients already paid. It seemed like a good deed to him.”
Exact quote: “When does a legitimate Russian political protest become an illegal gathering? Answer: When a second person joins in to spoil it.”
The Pope stopped short of saying his statements were infallible, leaving a little wiggle room for the next Pontiff.
Chavez now promises to limit his goals to becoming absolute monarch of only the western hemisphere.
The reason it took so long to realize this, said a CIA official, is that someone forgot to pick up the developed film at the CVS pharmacy.
The letter began, “Dear Leader. . .”
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