DUH Jones
Business News
Come on. Doesn’t everyone blame the housing bubble on the purple Barney?
Economists forgot to factor in massive time wasted on inane tweeting.
Exactly: “A mouse found inside an automatic teller machine had thoroughly torn up two bills and damaged another 14 to line his nest.” The bank foreclosed on the home immediately.
Said a spokesman, “Why can’t we dump radioactive dioxin down the sewers like everyone else?”
And that’s just the outlook for ACORN employees.
CEO Fred Smith continued: “Believe it or not, we actually shipped twelve packages just yesterday.”
Exactly: “He also wants an additional $200,164,000 for “miscellaneous fees.” Said the judge, “This is the kind of bold leadership we rarely see outside of Washington, D.C.”
This is how corporate executives while away their spare time: pruning the payroll.
...for 152 million frequent flyer miles.
Exactly: “When Tobias ‘Bags of Money’ Boyland went looking for a new career after serving 13 years in prison for armed robbery and drug dealing, he quickly found something that suited his sensibilities: He opened a collection agency.” Only in New York.
Exactly: “Move over, Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese. Online bidders, meet the Holy Cross Potato. Both of them. Yes, the 2009 holiday season bestowed (at least) two miraculous spuds with crosses at their centers. Aside from the sizes of the spuds, the main difference is price.” No doubt.
Fortunately, American appetites for Big Macs and Whoppers show no signs of abating.
The company said it would have recalled more, but that was the total number of Toyota trucks in Tacoma.
Fortunately, most American dogs are still reported to be living within their means
Nothing says “economic recovery” like a debt surge!
Proving yet again that when it comes to unsustainable spending, America still shows the world how it’s done.
Perhaps “information wants to be free,” but AT&T still needs to make a buck sending it to you.
Put the
DUH! Magazine widget
on your website!
RSS 2.0