Fearless LeaDUHs
ElecDUHd Officials DUHvernment ElecDUHble
Former Vice President Al Gore used his Nobel acceptance speech in Oslo to warn Americans that he may yet join the 2008 presidential race.
During Senate hearings, Michael Hayden was tied to his chair as a congressional aide poured water on his head to ensure the CIA chief would answer all questions.
Lawmakers are divided on whether tax should be computed by the pound, by the inch, or by the length of time in labor.
Exact quote: “I wasn’t a knee-walking drunk,” Bush said. That came later.
After Governor Steve Beshear’s speech, an aide handed him book on the Louisiana Purchase and said he may want to read a bit of history before making ‘new’ promises.
Castro’s brother Raul was finally able to persuade the dictator that he cannot continue his rule from the grave.
A congressional committee worked for six weeks to come up with Rule Number One: You have to have some idea how you’re going to pay it back.
A special panel is being convened to determine if steroid use could help older candidates keep up with exhausting campaign schedules.
Sadly, an entire year of political campaign speeches was unable to produce a quote more compelling than the howling of a disruptive college student.
Although gift cards are a recent technology, Maine legislators are invoking the age-old common-law practice that any money left lying around for more than six minutes belongs to the government.
The President made the statement during a round of golf at his exclusive resort.
Tells campaign manager that Huckabee’s surging poll numbers “made him sick.”
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid praised Republican leaders for “helping to keep us from looking as out-of-touch with the voters as we really are.”
Anglican leader Rowan Williams told parishioners that switching from greed to sloth for a few years might give the planet time to recuperate.
Hillary Clinton later said, “I didn’t actually say that I approved of the late caucus date. I only said that I understood why some voters might want to caucus on that day.”
Sure, just shoot the messenger.
In his last radio address of 2007, the President said, “If Santa didn’t bring what you asked for, don’t worry—your Congressional leaders will give you anything you want during an election year.
New York mayor Michael Bloomberg promised he will make a definite decision by November 6, 2008.
The presidential candidates have promised a fresh start to the New Year, with all new smears, attacks, lies and accusations.
A senior White House official explained, “One benefit of an administration that is getting nothing done is that it has nothing to hide.”
Entrepreneurial voters are putting out new yard signs reading, “Sale! - Vote switched for 100 bucks”.
Part of a broader plan to eliminate all U.S. troops from Iraq, candidate Edwards calls his latest proposal “an Al Qaeda dream come true.”
To optimize space, messages will use standard text-messaging abbreviations, such as, “OMG! U R under 8ack!”
Dennis Kucinich protested ABC’s unfair requirements which stipulated the candidate’s supporters must outnumber the candidate’s family and staff.
Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney are both saying that the Iowa caucus results “don’t fairly represent” how much average Americans hate them.
Put the
DUH! Magazine widget
on your website!
RSS 2.0