Fearless LeaDUHs
ElecDUHd Officials DUHvernment ElecDUHble
Undercover Republican operatives have set up clandestine ‘safe houses’ where celebrities can donate in a non-threatening environment.
Suspicions about the map’s accuracy were raised after a twelve foot high levy was built around the Mayor’s private residence.
And, in an effort to get anyone to care, he also promised to settle the issue of whether George Brett really used too much pine tar on his bat during a 1983 baseball game.
In a 5-4 decision, Bush’s Cabinet approved the visit, but only on the condition that Gore repeat his concession speech at the end of the meeting.
One-time leader for the GOP nomination tries to put positive spin on lack of media coverage.
City officials have offered one-half of Detroit’s tax income to share rankings with America’s safest city—both now listed as ‘moderately safe’.
The U.S. Army says ‘mistakes were made’ while testing the feasibility of a squirrel deployment in Iran to shut down to country’s nuclear research program.
Now if he can only get more than 5 percent of Iowa voters to agree with Chuck Norris…
In an effort to remain a political bellwether, New Hampshire has decided to hold its presidential primary when local radio stations start playing Christmas music 24/7.
Senator Hillary Clinton is demanding that student loan companies allow students to invest in Whitewater Development Corporation and cattle futures.
In a rare time-sharing agreement, Mitt Romney is set to appear in a Walmart spot saying, ‘Always low taxes’, while Hillary Clinton will appear in a Capital One spot saying, ‘What’s in your wallet?’.
According to an Israeli spokesman, “Failure is now assured.”
The news was particularly startling to the vice president’s detractors, who have long claimed that Cheney has no heart.
During a private 40-minute meeting, Al Gore quietly returned all the stolen W’s from White House computer keyboards.
Republican operatives say this case is remarkably similar to an earlier Satanic abduction of the wife of a former Arkansas governor.
And the publisher? We kid you not: The Hachette Book Group
Senator Clinton received a fax from Obama’s campaign headquarters that read, ‘People, people who have Oprah, are the luckiest people in the world’.
Wednesday’s Republican debate revealed sharp disagreement on whether or not immigrants should be tortured.
The new strategy emerged after Hillary realized she was not winning new supporters by criticizing her own staff.
A remarkably low number, said a FEMA spokesperson, when one considers that overall, nearly 32 percent of the federal budget is targeted for waste and fraud.
Said Bush on a visit to Texas, “Something has to be done to keep those mortgage interest rates from falling.”
In an attempt to overcome previous failures in face-to-face relations, the Bush administration is experimenting with a new ‘pen-pal’ diplomacy.
Hillary said to be considering a new cabinet post, ‘Department of Honey Do’.
Director Michael Hayden ordered that the CIA logo be revised to include the organization’s new motto: ‘Just Google It’.
As the Arkansas governor rises in Iowa polling, voters will learn that Huckabee also has had a speeding ticket, smoked a cigarette before turning 18, and once threw a cat over a hedge.
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