John DUH
Someone finally explained that “multiple choice” did not necessarily mean choose multiple answers.
This is news in Charlotte because most locals believe that only God can cause a flood.
Problem: A solid red map on a t-shirt doesn’t go with as many outfits.
Litterers will be maced and loiterers will be stun-gunned.
Luckily, “world peace” is only eleven characters long.
Exactly: “A young woman who won over $3 million in the lottery when she was just 16 says she blew it all on wild shopping sprees, breast implants and cocaine.” Then she went out and bought some really stupid stuff.
The 101 year old widow was heard to exclaim, “I thought he’d never leave.”
Population loss might be expected in a state where the average age is 85.
Something about fleecing the flock seemed more profitable than feeding it.
Protesters were not told that the meeting location was moved to Philadelphia.
Exactly: “LOS ANGELES – Although she liked her bacon crispy and her chicken fried, she never drank, smoked or fooled around, Gertrude Baines once said, describing a life that lasted an astonishing 115 years and earned her the title of oldest person on the planet. In her final years, she passed her days watching her favorite TV program, ‘The Jerry Springer Show.’” Checking out at 72 never sounded so good.
...but curiously, stopped short of referring to the content as “intellectual” property.
In order for the decline of writing to be a problem, someone would have to be able to read.
The arrest was the first to be made under the new MWI law; Mowing Without Intelligence.
To be fair, female transit workers were given one headache per day.
Said a spokesman, “If we had to question every middle-aged dude with hot blonde, the dinner wouldn’t start before midnight.”
That place truly must serve “the world’s best cup of coffee.”
Government officials worry that too many snow days could reduce assisted-lunch student’s dependence on government assistance.
Pilot sought to land, slide down the emergency shoot, and offer Obama a beer.
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