MeDUHcine and Health
She continued: “But it might raise SAT scores.”
Finally, the definitive explanation for reality TV.
Parents are advised that the best way to prevent their teen children from texting while driving is to require it.
According to an Obama spokesman: “We’ve got a real win-win situation here: As our economic policies eliminate more and more jobs, the newly unemployed actually get healthier.”
Duh!Magazine has a special place in its heart for headlines we couldn’t possibly improve on.
Exactly: “Lady Dai was a Chinese nobleman’s wife in her mid-50s when she died of a heart attack. She was overweight, had diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, liver disease, gallstones and her arteries were almost totally clogged.” Apparently, all these “modern” maladies might not be quite so modern after all, because Lady Dai died 2000 years ago!
Study also found that the unemployed are more likely to be broke.
Put more precisely, reading sensationalized news stories about flu virus can cause heart attacks.
Study sheds light on recent congressional proceedings.
Senators say this proves they are on the right track: Healthcare can be improved by bankrupting the economy.
That these huge corporations with deeply entrenched business practices and risk-averse cultures aren’t interested in taking a fresh look at health care delivery is shocking.
Residents were overcome with joy when given chance to leave New Jersey.
When your pandemic isn’t getting enough press, do what politicians do: massage the numbers.
This finding, of course, came as no surprise to anyone paying attention to the Neilsen ratings of television programming.
The experiment is said to involve normal test subjects and reruns of Jerry Springer.
That’s as opposed to how most Americans go about it: By eating a half gallon of “Lite” ice cream and watching TV.
Contradicting all the studies that show apathy is the key to kicking cocaine addiction.
And also like a virus, it can result from commitment-free sexual contact.
And stupider ones, too.
The women turned down the dentist’s settlement offer of a lifetime supply of nitrous oxide.
Apparently, “Just say no” works for things other than experimental drug use.
The study also found that caramel macchiato, whipped-cream-topped lattes helped dieters overcome the desire to kill skinny people.
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