Real Headlines, Snarky Commentary
Thursday, September 09, 2010

Ta-DUH!

Entertainment News

Possible solutions include:

  • Line the venue floor with aluminum foil
  • Put those little hospital booties on the tires
  • Replace truck drivers with Merry Maids

09/28/07 — 0 Comments

Mother of the Year candidate Britney Spears Apparently, drinking, drugs, relentless clubbing, late nights and slovenly appearance were enough to convince a California judge that K-Fed was the better parent of the two. 

10/02/07 — 1 Comments

Enraged Popeye vows to model Victoria’s Secret panties.

10/04/07 — 0 Comments

The fall schedule will be unaffected, however, as all network TV is now 100 percent unscripted.

10/07/07 — 0 Comments

Used to be in band (photo: kk+) Then again, they may not. 

10/08/07 — 0 Comments

There's always QVCAfter failing at attempts to regain fans by exploiting her strengths, Britney plans last gasp by relying on her greatest weakness. 

10/09/07 — 1 Comments

Gee, thanks, Mr. Weill! How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Marry money.

10/11/07 — 0 Comments

Poetic justice for someone who has made millions putting out trash.

10/11/07 — 0 Comments

The nation’s largest beer brewing companies are racing to air new ads featuring top rap artists.

10/16/07 — 0 Comments

Producer George Lucas aims to prove that the completely mindless script for “Star Wars Episode I:  The Phantom Menace” was not a fluke.

10/20/07 — 0 Comments

The previous strike by the Writers Guild lasted 22 weeks, prompting concern that the next season of ‘24’ will be renamed ‘2’.

10/20/07 — 0 Comments

The outburst came after she received a text message about E! Magazine’s review of her new ‘Blackout’ album.

10/27/07 — 0 Comments

For introducing the world to Dr. Phil.

10/28/07 — 0 Comments

The annual Forbes list also named Michael Jackson as top ‘dead-looking’ celeb, Britney Spears as top ‘career-good-as-dead’ celeb, and Dick Clark as top ‘he’s-not-dead-yet?’ celeb.

10/31/07 — 3 Comments

Negotiations stalled when writers refused to accept merit-based pay tied to Neilsen ratings.

10/31/07 — 0 Comments

Women named Jane have appealed the ruling, fearing that even more men will be encouraged to greet them with annoying imitations of the classic yell.

11/01/07 — 0 Comments

Exact quote:  “Chapman said he is meeting with his spiritual adviser, Rev. Tim Storey, who is black, and hopes to meet with other black leaders, ‘so they can see who I really am and teach me the right thing to do to make things right, again.’” Don’t worry, Dog.  We are certain they can sense your sincerity.

11/01/07 — 0 Comments

With his comedy writers on strike, Colbert felt he would be unable to develop a fresh list of promises every day on the campaign trail.

11/05/07 — 0 Comments

Prince now wants people to refer to him as “The Artist Formerly Known to have Fans.”

11/07/07 — 0 Comments

Said one critic, “She can’t act at all, but she sure is pretty.”

11/07/07 — 0 Comments

So that explains it!

11/07/07 — 0 Comments

A note, written on official parish stationery, said (exact quote):  “Is this the way you treat your most dangerous fans?”

11/09/07 — 0 Comments

An insider at CBS says they have already received offers to cross the picket line from Dan Rather and Mary Mapes.

11/13/07 — 0 Comments

Which will be fun for Matt until this time next year, when he becomes People Magazine’s former sexiest man alive.

11/14/07 — 0 Comments

The real news is that some fans finally came to their senses.

11/15/07 — 2 Comments
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