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Entertainment News
A planned ninety-minute documentary chronicling her ordeal was canceled due to the six-minute shortfall.
No great loss, said a spokesperson, as the vast majority of smokers can’t read.
Overwhelming response has forced producers to build a 15-foot wall around the studio and hire minutemen militia to help keep unauthorized contestants off the set.
An NBC spokesperson says the network regrets its inability to refund viewers’ time spent watching their programming.
However, recent Nielsen data shows that email has yet to reach the junk ratio of television programming.
And the worst? William Shatner, who reportedly becomes outraged when people fail to ask for his autograph.
...Or so she would have us believe!
The photographers were charged with attempting to subject Americans to additional photos of Britney Spears.
After being told that her latest drunken driving conviction resulted in an assignment at the Los Angeles morgue, Lohan was circumspect: “Hey, it makes perfect sense! I’m working really hard to try to kill my career.”
Writers claim this is a violation of their contract, saying all messages must be written by a WGA member.
Well, except for the part where he was found to be, um, dead.
Seeking to emulate shows that actually have an audience, beauty contestants will try to guess which case holds the correct lyrics to the song ‘Survivor’, while dancing with a 5th grader.
Publisher Sony Music insisted that the track be embedded with copy-protection software which limits aliens to a making single copy for personal use.
Not surprisingly, the final contract is taking longer than expected because of frequent and nasty disagreements about certain word choices.
Tentatively called “Blackout,” the tour will feature highlights from Britney’s most recent nights of partying.
The rapper, known as “Juvenile,” claimed to have no idea that his violent and misogynistic lyrics would be taken seriously.
Doesn’t it just fry your grits when someone makes a billion dollars on an idea you had (and did nothing with) nine years ago?
Advice for men fantasizing about being wedded to the pneumatic bimbette, whose most recent marriage was just annulled, is apparently “be careful what you wish for.”
Researchers were surprised to find that the recorded song includes a clearly audible introduction by Dick Clark.
Exact quotes: “MANILA (Reuters) - Playboy magazine is launching in the Philippines next month and will be targeting mature men who like well-written articles and tasteful photographs of semi-nude women.” Okay. Be honest. Does you really believe that Hef built his empire here in the states on “well-written articles”? We didn’t think so.
Fortunately, the Material Girl has matured into a stable, productive wife and mother. Right?
Several Hollywood stars have begun clearing their calendars in anticipation of being asked to take the VP spot on the Democratic ticket.
Still to be decided is whether to call it the “New New Kids on the Block,” “Old Kids on the Block,” or just the “Milking Our Former Fame For All We Can” tour.
Running out of programming ideas, CBS will air a new reality show titled, “So You Wanna Be a Reality Show”, in which reality shows will compete to be the next reality show.
Universities have hastily added courses in “Gibberish” to their fall schedules, touting the new genre as ‘the quickest route to a best-selling novel’.
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