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These groups, who often fought and rarely spoke, were originally called ‘men’ and ‘women.’
Communists are sensitive about portrayals showing their soldiers being beaten up by a senior citizen.
The working title for the planned book is “Harry Potter and There Must Be Some Way to Wring More Money Out of This Franchise.”
Topping the list of qualifications, his actual name must be “Bucky Kentucky”.
Upset over being beat out for the Gotham City role in “The Dark Knight,” New York City promised to lose weight, have some surgery done, and learn its lines better before the next installment is filmed.
This apparently innovative idea has never occurred to starving rock bands in the last half century.
This admission comes atop the earlier, equally shocking revelation that Michael Jackson is no longer the official “King of Pop.”
Which goes to prove the old saying that if you repeat a lie often enough, the people involved will eventually go along with it.
The artist involved was untroubled by the fact that photography wasn’t invented until about 1,800 years after Jesus’ last appearance on earth.
A spokesperson for Mr. Manilow said Barry is thrilled at the chance to reach a whole new generation of fans.
We can’t say that this hasn’t crossed our minds once or twice: “PHILADELPHIA – A man enraged by a noisy family sitting near him in a movie theater on Christmas night shot the father of the family in the arm, police said.”
The theory was confirmed when historians uncovered lyrics attributed to ‘50 Pence’ and ‘Snoop MacDog’.
Cable subscribers in Tucson got a brief porn video along with their Super Bowl telecast. Unlike Janet Jackson’s unveiling in the 2004 broadcast, all the “wardrobe malfunctions” in this Super Bowl slip-up were entirely intentional.
In a press release, Sesame Street Workshop also noted that, due to downsizing, Big Bird would henceforth be renamed Little Bird.
When asked how she lost so much weight, the former sitcom star replied, “One day at a time.”
The popular teen movie barely edged out the other nominees, “High School Musical 2” and “High School Musical 4.”
Loyal viewers will still be able to order the 15,000-episode boxed set for just under $400,000.
Exactly: “NEW YORK – A clothing company known for its racy ads is fighting a $10 million lawsuit brought by Woody Allen, arguing that it can’t have damaged his reputation by using his image because the film director has already ruined it himself.”
Oddly, the number of requests exceeded demand for Michael Jackson comeback tour tickets by over 200,000.
And, as anyone who saw one of his infomercials will attest, a major factor in his life as well.
A separate group has given Beck a ceremonial court order to stay at least 100 miles away.
The singer-songwriter claims that the “extreme mellowness” associated with the chain of coffee shops had tainted her reputation as a badass rocker.
His last words: “Ohhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooo!”
Carillon operators are scrambling to learn KISS tune, “Hotter Than Hell”.
Because America’s women needed one more reason to feel bad about themselves.
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