Georgia after-school program will pay students to study
Students say they will consider the offer if the district adds vacation, sick leave, and contributions to a 401(k) plan.
Thousands march in Washington to protest Roe v. Wade decision
_thumb.jpg) jcolman |
Marchers under the age of 35 were advised to send a thank-you note to their mothers.
Louisiana GOP releases unofficial delegate results
Results won’t be official until the delegates’ bribe checks have cleared the bank.
Study: A fight with your spouse could be good for health
The results of the study suggest that some couples may live forever.
Obese people will be paid to lose weight
Overweight Britons welcome the extra cash, saying the income will help finance a holiday to a destination with better tasting food.
Study: US scientists close to creating artificial life
 BDegan |
First to benefit will be overworked computer geeks who say even an artificial life will be better than no life at all.
Cable reality show tries to revive Miss America
 dbking |
Seeking to emulate shows that actually have an audience, beauty contestants will try to guess which case holds the correct lyrics to the song ‘Survivor’, while dancing with a 5th grader.
Kidneys allegedly taken from poor for rich
Hillary Clinton expressed outrage during a campaign speech and said “...in this country, kidneys should be taken from the rich for the poor.”
Collision of 2 planes appears accidental
Families of those killed in the crash were relieved to know it wasn’t intentional.
Police say nurse abused 14 patients
He would have abused many more, sources said, but the nursing home where he worked cut back on overtime and double shifts.
Iraqi insurgents find female bombers can skirt security
According to an al Qaida spokesman, as a bonus the new plan also substantially reduces a significant shortfall in the virgins promised to previous suicide bombers.
30 Baptist groups build a bridge toward unity
 rsstafford |
However, discussion of the proposal has generated so much controversy that the 30 original groups have split into 90.
NASA to beam Beatles song into deep space
 myjon |
Publisher Sony Music insisted that the track be embedded with copy-protection software which limits aliens to a making single copy for personal use.
McCain winning over some conservatives, but not Coulter
Ann Coulter explained that to win her vote, a candidate would need to support the drafting of illegal aliens in a war against Iran paid for by raising taxes on the poor.
Blair wants to be president of EU
A staffer from Hillary Clinton’s campaign leaked to the press that if Super Tuesday does not go as planned, she will take on Blair in a run for the EU presidency.
Study: iPods won’t damage your heart
 Orange_Beard |
iPod owners welcomed the news, in light of what the product has already done do to their finances, eardrums, and social life.
Private colleges try to stay affordable
...In much the same way as private clubs, private bankers, and private jets.
U.S. banks are tightening lending standards
Is anyone reminded of how security standards were tightened at U.S. airports after terrorists flew planes into buildings?
Florida officials forbid sex offenders to live under bridges
Offiicals justified the prohibition, saying that children liked to use the space under bridges for drinking, smoking and experimenting with illegal drugs.
Study: wearing high heels may give women healthier sex lives
.jpg) Porcelaingirl |
It certainly does for men.
Writers Guild members to vote on contract
Not surprisingly, the final contract is taking longer than expected because of frequent and nasty disagreements about certain word choices.
Drinking diet soda linked to obesity
.jpg) cackhandle |
Everyone knows diet soda drinkers are fatter because diet soda is an excuse to upsize the french fries.
Britney Spears planning world tour
 file |
Tentatively called “Blackout,” the tour will feature highlights from Britney’s most recent nights of partying.
Bush makes first presidential visit to Liberia in 30 years
President Bush tried to ingratiate himself with the locals by saying, “My wife, Laura, is a professional Liberian herself.”
Fidel Castro resigns; brother Raul to take reins
..jpg) Sebastian Pinera |
Saying it was time for “a new generation” to lead the revolution in Cuba, the 82 year old dictator formally handed over power to his brother Raul, who is only 76
Michael Moore wants Castro At Oscars
In response, President Bush has threatened to set up a blockade around the Kodak Theatre and impose an embargo on all red carpet interviews.
Barack inspires change in baby names
A review of birth records from recent months shows a sharp increase in the number of babies named “Change”.
Only 1 in 4 know heart attack signs
.jpg) icopythat |
Apparently, intensive training is needed to discern that red-faced, middle-aged men clutching their chests are not just reaching for a pencil.
U.S. government approves ‘virtual fence’ In Arizona
Digital photos of aliens seen entering the country illegally will be stored in a virtual jail, transfered to a digital bus, and sent to a virtual destination in their country of origin.
Raul Castro wins Cuban election
Problems with voting machines in some precincts resulted in a winning margin of slightly less than 100 percent.
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